Cordial? Manners? Couth?

Can we all agree that time trial helmets are one of the more ridiculous cycling products ever invented? Granted, I realize there are aerodynamic benefits to be had from wearing such an awkward-looking device one one’s head while one is in the midst of a time trial, but let’s be honest. While cyclist and cycling fans the world over may have glazed over their initial impressions of time trial helmets (which we can abbreviate as TTH for the remainder of this update) once the aerodynamic function of the elven-shaped helmet have been explained, they’re still ridiculous.

Are we all on the same page? I know they might look cool (“might” being the operative word there) while watching one of the pros blast along at 30 MPH hunched over their aerobars, but you really should admit to yourself that whenever you’ve seen a cyclist not hunched over their bike and wearing the TTH while standing around, it looks like a fashion gone horribly, horribly wrong.

With all that said, from this day forward, I’m taking an anti-TTH stance. Even in the unlikely event I turn into a time-trialing freak and spend 98% of my disposable income on time trial bikes and time trial equipment I will never, EVER, lay a TTH upon my head. I’m sure you’re as okay with that as I am, but I wanted to toss it out there anyway.

Shifting gears, I went for a ride this morning. As I’m all but living in the Upper West Side now, I rolled out of the apartment, hooked a left on 71st Street, a right on West End Avenue, a left on 72nd Street, and a right on Riverside Drive which took me all the way to 165th Street where I made another right and climbed the short yet relatively steep hill that leads to . . . you know, I really should pay better attention. I made a left at the next traffic light--whatever that street is--and then made my glorious yet freezing way to the GWB.

On my way over the bridge, I was sitting behind a pair of girl (cyclists) waiting for bridge path to widen so I could pass safely when some douchebag wearing a local team kit began yelling at me to hold my line (which I was holding just fine, thank you very much) so he could squeeze by on the left.

My initial instinct, of course, was to unclip my left shoe and kick the little douchebag in the head, but I’m something of a rational and well-adjust human being so I let it go. It’s nice to let things go (when you can, although some people really do need a kick in the head once in a while), so just like that, I let it go, but I thought to myself, Let’s check something out.

For the remainder of the ride, I waved at every cyclist passing on the opposite side of the street and said, “How’s it going?” to every person I passed on my side of the street.

Survey says? Sorry, but most road cyclists are douchebags. Correction: most roadies act like douchebags.

Of all the cyclists to whom I either waved or said hello, NONE of those wearing team kits acknowledged me whatsoever. Of those riders not wearing team kits, I would say only 10% to 20% acknowledged me with a wave or a nod of the head.

What the hell is it about a matching jersey and tights that causes roadies to act the way they do? It absolutely bewilders me. Regardless, my new policy, along with never, EVER wearing a TTH, will now include waving and saying hello to every cyclist I see on the road, acknowledgement or not. I’m not going to let incessant douchebag behavior turn me into a douchebag. Nuh-uh. Not me.