I'm Done

I think I’m done with the NYCC.

Over the course of roughly three weeks, I’ve been on three different NYCC group rides.

The first ride, that was a disaster and you can read about that by clicking HERE.

The following ride, I decided to step up my game and join a B 17/18 ride and while it was somewhat faster and slightly more entertaining than the B16 ride, it still left something to be desired. While the ride leader had the kind of sense of humor I can appreciate in a cyclist—lots of cursing, rude hand gestures, and flatulence . . . which kind of reminds me of Ed Dalton minus the flatulence—the posted average ride speeds were a bit misleading in that the actual average speeds tended to end up a few miles per hour slower than advertised.

I can understand this not being an issue if you’ve got an entire morning / afternoon to kill, but like most normal adults, I usually check the ride start time, the average expected speed, and then calculate when I’ll be home so I can try to schedule the rest of my day. When the actual ride is a lot slower than advertised, it kind of fucks up the rest of the weekend.

Know what I mean?

So with the above two rides under my belt, I attempted to step up my game that much more by joining an A19 ride this past Saturday morning that was scheduled to start at the Central Park Boathouse at 9:15 AM and while I had high hopes, my hopes were again let down. Why?

1. Ride leader shows up around 9:20 and asks us to follow him to 110th Street.

2. At 110th Street, we spend at least fifteen minutes with boring introductions not one of us would be able to remember five minutes later.

3. Time check. It’s now roughly 9:40 and the ride is yet to start. I’m supposed to be home between 12:30 and 1:00 and we have 62 miles to go. We better be doing 19 MPH.

4. On the Jersey side of the GWB, we again stop for a five minute talk from our flaming ride leader who’s sporting not just pink bar tape, but pink cables, pink rims, and pink tires.

5. At the entrance of River Road, we again pause for a minute so everyone can catch up.

6. At the ranger station at the end of River Road, we’re there for at least fifteen minutes while everyone loads up on water.

7. Is the average speed 19 MPH? Not even close, but there are a few guys and one French gal climbing a hell of a lot better than I am, but that usually happens when I ride.

8. By 12:30, we’ve accomplished all of 30 miles out of a 62 mile road, so rather than order a sandwich and have a picnic with the rest of the group—which is clearly what they’re planning on doing when we stop at a tiny deli in the middle of nowhere—I peel off and TT home to reach our apartment by 1:50.

9. I walk in the door, see my fiancee on the couch flipping through a magazine, and calmly explain, “I know, I’m late. I’d done with those guys.”

10. Ten minutes later, I’m showered and we’re out the door to enjoy a beautiful Sunday afternoon.