Good ride today, good ride. I was expecting better weather, although I really shouldn’t complain as the rain held off (and it’s still holding off as I write this at 3:29 PM Saturday afternoon).
As the wind was a bit brisk, I started off out of the parking lot solo, spinning at a slow pace until the rest of the group caught me near Sand Lane. From there, it seemed to be the usual spots where the tempo picked up: up the hill to the corner of McClean, down that street that runs parallel to Bay Street (can’t think of the name of it for the life of me), about halfway along Richmond Terrace, on that lifeless street near 440 past the Hilton (or is it a Marriot?), south on Richmond Avenue, and parts of Arthur Kill Road before the final home stretch on Hylan Boulevard. Actually, I think we hit over 30 miles per hour on Richmond Avenue, which is impressive. Well, it’s impressive to me, at least.
As usual, I got a bit ahead of myself as we were heading down Arthur Kill Road. Just before the hill that climbs up to Island Cycles (motorcycles), I started clicking up through the gears in an attempt to get as much momentum going as I could, thinking I might make it all the way to the crest of the short yet steep hill in a sprint. Three-quarters of the way to the top and leading the group, my lungs decided they had had enough. Planting my butt in the saddle, guess who went blowing past me as if I were standing still? Anne and Kelly. If not for the fact that I could barely breathe, I would have called out something clever and witty such as, “You guys aren’t supposed to chase me down. When I attack, you’re supposed to just let me go. Those are the rules.”
To whose rules am I referring? I have no idea.
Actually, it was such a good ride today, I think I’m going to splurge on the toll for the Verrazanno Bridge and join the same ride again tomorrow morning.
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[Author’s Note: The above pound symbol--#--typically denotes a shift in time or space. In other words, when you see the # symbol on this page, it means I want to change the subject and considering I lack the literary acumen to create a fluid transition from paragraph to paragraph, I’ll use the # symbol instead. I’m sure we can all live happily with that.]
Apart from the actual cycling, there are aspects of cycling that I’ve come to truly love, including the food. Understandably, this may sound odd. “What’s to love about PowerBars?” some might say, but this isn’t just about PowerBars so much. Rather, it’s more about how justified I feel in eating the large quantities I eat as a result of spending several hours a day on a bicycle.
For example, I wear a heart rate monitor while riding. One of the wonderful features of this monitor includes Calories Burned and after riding for over two hours this morning, I allegedly burned 1,980 calories. Is that a lot? Who can say for sure, although it definitely makes me feel justified in devouring as much food on which I can lay my hands when the rides over and I’m home. Sitting at my dining table, I happily inhaled an egg and cheese sandwich on white toast (two scrambled eggs with a single slice of Yellow American cheese cooked in a pan sprayed with “0 Trans Fat” Mazola cooking spray, along with half a bottle of VitaminWater, a small bowl of crimson grapes, half a glass of orange juice, and one packet of instant oatmeal.
An hour later, I cooked up a serving of Lipton’s Noodle Soup. Less than half an hour after that, I’m already thinking about what I’m going to cook for dinner. I’m thinking chicken wings as I sit down to watch the movie I rented this afternoon: Monster House.
You know what else I like about the food that comes after cycling? So many diets state that carbs should be avoided. Now that I’ve got two wheels under me, I’ll eat all the damn spaghetti I want. I love spaghetti! Who doesn’t love spaghetti? I’ve got three boxes in the pantry simply waiting for me as I write this. Maybe I’ll have spaghetti for dinner. Shit, maybe I’ll have the leftovers for breakfast before tomorrow’s ride. That’s how much I love spaghetti.
Further, rather than spend money on actual PowerBars, I’ve made like a hippie and I’m now cooking up my own energy bars. Can you believe that? Actually, it’s really easy. Here’s how I do it:
In a large bowl, I mix ½ cup peanuts, ½ cup raisins, 2 cups raw oatmeal, and 2 cups Rice Crispies. In a separate bowl, I mix about a cup of peanut butter with ½ cup of light brown sugar. Finally, I pour in about ¾ cup of light corn syrup and mix as well as I can. The mixture is then microwaved for two minutes after which I add two teaspoons of vanilla extract.
Now comes the sticky part--mixing the peanut butter and sugar with the oatmeal and everything else. Literally, it’s sticky, which makes it something of a pain in the ass. I tried doing it with my bare hands after rubbing some olive oil into them, but that failed to keep the mixture from sticking to my digits. Next time, perhaps I’ll try plastic gloves.
In the end, I dump the final mix into a non-stick pan and begin to flatten it out with a plastic spatula until it’s roughly ¾ of an inch to an inch thick. I cover the warm, gooey mess (get your head out of the gutter!) with plastic wrap and let it sit overnight so it hardens. The following morning, finito. Every time I go riding, I cut out a chunk, wrap it in tinfoil, and I’m ready to go. Much tastier than a PowerBar as far as I’m concerned, and a hell of a lot cheaper as well.
To wrap up this ridiculously long post, I wanted to make a comment about energy gels. So far, I’ve only tasted the Vanilla Bean flavor (in addition to the Apples & Cinnamon packet Mr. KP provided me), but that one flavor has been enough to convince me that energy gels are glorified cake icing. Come on. To anyone reading this who’s sucked down one of those things, what’s the first thing that comes to mind when you’re swallowing? Birthday cake, right? Don’t try to deny it. That shit is cake batter all the way.
And now I’m done.
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