It’s not just me. I’ve been watching the Giro almost every day since the race started a few weeks ago and based on the calls I’ve made, the emails I’ve sent, and the people with whom I’ve conferred on a daily basis all agree that Thomas Voeckler is, indeed, the biggest douchebag in all of professional cycling.
For starters, he looks like a pre-pubescent adolescent still trying to determine the direction of his sexuality. I’d be willing to bet Voeckler doesn’t spend all that much time holding a shaving razor to his face although I would be willing to bet that French son-of-a-bitch spends an inordinate amount of time in front of the mirror working on his “I’m going on the attack with 3K to go” grimace. And if you’re unsure which grimace I’m referring to, this is the one:
Looks a bit rehearsed, doesn’t it? If you’re going to grimace when you ride, you might as well make sure it’s authentic, like this guy:
That’s what brings me to this post. As stated, I’ve been watching the Giro pretty much every day and guess who jumps from the front of the peloton with a few kilometers left in most of the flat stages?
Douchebag Thomas Voeckler.
Imagine you’re part of Mark Cavendish’s lead-out train. You’re at the front with 5K to go, you’ve got your hands in the drops, your SRM is reading somewhere in the range of 400 - 600 watts, and you’re thinking, “We’ve got this,” when you see a little douchebag of a rider in a bland aqua kit sprinting down the road all on his own. No doubt you’ve seen this before. As a matter of fact, the same little douchebag tried the same thing yesterday and the day before and while he’s been caught EVERY SINGLE TIME he tries this, he’s apparently not the sharpest tool in the shed because, lo and behold, here his is trying it again.
Now I don’t know about you, but if I were pulling along the entire peloton near the end of a race and some little dickhead like Voeckler went off and tried to attack, I’d be pretty pissed off. To me, Voeckler seems like that annoying gnat that just keeps circling your head no matter how many times you try to swat it away. I have to imagine he realizes there’s no way they’re going to let him get away every time he tries one of his inside-10K-dumbass-moves, so perhaps he just does it for the TV exposure back home in France. I can imagine the cycling fan conversation . . .
“Voulez-vous des poo-poo, monseiur. Did you see petit Voeckler ahier--”
“Oui, oui, that petit douchebag. So very stoo-peede, no? Je pense--”
“In-cruh-dee-bla that douchebag still has a job with a team like--”
47 comments:
I think the douche bag is the guy who devotes an entire page to writing a hate post about Thomas Voeckler. While you're writing posts about the guy from a computer probably in your parent's house, where you still live, Thomas Voeckler's out there nailing French models. Get a life dude.
Stage 5 - TDF - HA HA HA
Are you mad Cavendish didn't win today's stage and you felt the need to post this long, ignorant article? Cavendish is a real douche bag. I respect the guy but he is a arrogant ass who knows he is the best and flaunts it. He claims team Columbia is the BEST yet Astana DOMINATES the top ten. By the way, the Peloton catches the breakaway 90% of the time. If you ask me, Thomas Voeckler deserved to win because he played his cards right, attacked at the right time, and gave it all he got.
Seriously - I love when losers like you get bitch slapped by reality (Thomas Voeckler-Stage 5 TDF Winner). Go dunk your freedom fries in some gravy and think about who the real stupid douchebag is.
Well at least he is out there actually out there doing something with his life man...get a life urself.
One thing. You're not a douche just because you go out n attack every day, it's called determination. Really YOU are the douche if you call that idiotic.
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
That really backfired on you didn't it! I know this is an old article but I just thought I'd add to your humiliation.
HA!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8GrpKShsWek
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ovGvlX7_Vls
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E2c2kbOMZrc
you really missed the boat on this one. he's having a great year, and you are showing a lack of understanding of cycling.
No shit. Viewable is THE GUY that epitomizes everything that is right with cycling and his solid year shows that he has willed himself and worked his ass off to become one of the most consistent and tenacious riders of our time. The guy gets results from February through October to. The guy also brings his lunchbox to work...a poor man's Jens Voight.
If you knew shit about that which troubles you so much, you would recognize the guy has balls. He can't sprint and he can't climb. He's like around 95% of the rest of the peleton in that respect. He separates himself by not giving a shit how many watts some lead out train is expending with 3k to go. Sure, he may only succeed 1 time in 10, but that is what makes this guy great. He goes for broke and manages to pull it off.
He recognizes that races aren't there so that Cav and the other sprinters can spin for 200k, only to sprint for the last half k. Personally, I am thankful for this.
You're a stupid cunt. If you don't try you're not gonna get anywhere... hense sitting at home making pages like this.
Who's the douchebag now? The guy with the yellow jersey? Voeckler\m/
Thomas is exactly what this sport is, should be and should be admired.
Ten Things to Love About Thomas Voeckler
10: He’s a cycling champion
9. He’s worn the yellow jersey
8. He’s wearing the yellow jersey
7. He doesn’t whine
6. He’s French without the attitude
5. He talks with his legs
4. He never gives up
3. He’ll risk it all all the time
2. He exceeds everyone’s expectations
1. His words after earning the jersey today: ”I'm not a dreamer, I will just fight and give all that I can. I know it's impossible for me to keep the lead for 10 days like in 2004 but one thing is sure tomorrow I can keep the jersey because it's a rest day."
California EB
Right on EugeneB!
I suspect that the only persons Stephen "The" Donaldson confers with are his diaper changers. Nobody should really listen to a foul mouthed little lout like him
You are a fucking idiot!
Give the writer some credit. Voeckler attached the peleton when they were being managed to let those back who were held up by the horrific crash that took out many good cyclists. Voeckler can say he didn't know, but he has a radio in his ear, and he started riding faster when the peleton called truce. He started again just after Flecha was hit by that media car. Don't believe me, well Flecha agrees. Read his response in the last paragraph of this article: http://www.cyclingnews.com/news/flecha-the-driver-didnt-even-stop
This isn't new behavior. Cast your mind back to the tour in which Voeckler held yellow for ten days. Remember the day he got the jersey, 12 minutes ahead of the peleton. You might remember Cancellara managing the peleton to let back those battered by another crash.
I agree that Voeckler is determined, and I think this is his most redeeming quality, but determination that supersedes sportsmanship is an essential element of the highest order of douchebagginess.
why would Voeckler wait for Flecha and Hoogerland? They got hit by a car and flew into a barbed wire fence. It's safe to say there was no point in waiting for them. In the meantime, they're racing, so might as well keep going.
Thomas Voeckler is one of the all time great french riders in my opinion. The guy has heart and ass kicking determination. Give him credit and stop hating and criticizing. None of you haters ever got on a bike to ride around your neighborhood much less to wear the yellow jersey in a prestigious race like the tour de france. Go Thomas you have a fan all the way in the little country Belize Central America. I am a tour de france fanatic, i watch each stage every year. Voeckler can actually finish high in the overall general classification. It wouldn't surprise me if he won the darn race the way he is riding this year.
You are correct the only Douchebag here is the guy that probably can't ride and wants to belittle someone who has the balls and the ability to be aggressive against the best in the world. One day you can take your training wheels off and grow a pair. Wanker!!
I see people already beat me to posting on this old ass thread what he's done in this Tour de France. Yellow jersey after the pyrenees. Who's the douchebag who never wins now? YOU sir!
That is some funny shit.
That's what I would call blowback blast from the internet past.
"Stupid Douchebag" is, maybe, on the verge of one of the all time greatest achievement in the Tour de France's 100+ years.
KNOBHEAD
Lance used to ride like this in the early days. Go out and blow up or win. I'm an American, so I love to see a guy that goes out and gives it his all, no matter what his nationality. Don't just lay back and play with the peloton and let the "favorites" get all the stage wins. Go Voeckler!
If this was a tactic to pump your blog, bravo. It was masterful. Otherwise...
Voeckler's a little annoying if you're locked in to sprinting and leadout tactics, but he's not racing for points. He's racing for time. So, as much as he can push those seconds, he does. Forget the sprinters and whatever the hell they're doing.
Do you honestly think Voeckler assumes he can outsprint Cavendish? Again, I'm assuming you're amping your blog, but, if not, you're one of the dumbest people I've ever wasted time addressing.
Either way, go ride and shut up.
Is it me, or is this guy the biggest douchebag in the sport of professional cycling?
No. It's you
Let me know who you crown a "douchebag" next. I'm going to bet on them for winning next years Tour.
I think the guy that posted this doesn't ride much, and quite possibly was molested as a child by a guy that may look similar to Thomas Voeckler... or perhaps he wishes he was?...
using personal abuse makes you the douchebag, douchebag
Your the stupid douchebag mate he tries so hard and does so well. Cavendish and his team are good enough to deal with him anyway and he will get green so just give up on writing a page on something you know nothing about.
Anonymos....
what a shitty coment, have you ever owned a bike...stay put to your bed and never leave it.
leif
well look who just got 4th in the tour... whos the douchebag now ?!!!
You have got to be the biggest douche on the Internet. What a moron!
My Anger at your,
Bigoted,
Racist ,
Beat on a champion DRIVEL ,
Not to mention that you have the Audacity to use a guttersnipe word like douche bag to describe ANYONE !
Has subsided a little ,
When I read the replies from people who can see right through your immature , uneducated , head up your ass attitude .
I hope EVERYONE involved in professional and amateur cycling gets to see this tripe you wrote , So that you can be the first fool in history to be publicly 'BARRED' from ever watching a cycle race again .
Well done MR. Douchebag. 4th placed in tdf, yellow jersey holder for 10 days. Sad you even bothered to write an article like this, but its backfired
You are a moron. As far as i am concerned, Tommy V helped keep the focus of this years tdf on cycling. Id practically forgotten about the drugs situation untill it ended. What a legend.
who are you?????
POS
I liked where he threw his bottle down on the ground after getting it from team car and then yelled at his team mates. Or where he rode on after Flecha and Hoogerland were hit by the car.
Too bad he didn't win the TDF, he would have been a champion much like Oscar Pierero 'won' the TDF because he was never perceived as threat.
Voeckler will never be a grand tour contender but will always be a break away chance rider.
Hey bro just wondering what year's you placed top ten in the tour. His attacks are just his style of racing and they're bloody entertaining. I have much respect for him and absolutely none for you
it's true, it's an idiot! what a face!
July 18, 2012: Voeckler wins Pyrenees HC mountain stage.
Prediction: Voeckler popped for drugs within a year.
Hi - was just googling "Voeckler dickhead" and your post came up.
Doesn't quite encapsulate all of the reasons I think the acting (tongue out, "I'm on the rivet, I can't hold on!" "Now I'm okay, I've dug deeper, now I'm attacking the breakaway or covering a Contador attack on an HC climb") dipshit is a dickhead, but it does pretty well.
You may find many cheaper flashlights but it might not be an ideal choice for you. Toshiba's SCiB features a five minute charge time which will bring the battery up to a 90% charge, plus it can handle a maximum of 6000 charge cycles without losing a large portion of its power. Still more moments passed. Use your glue and begin gluing together cottons ball until you have a big enough clump to pass for a tail.
POS
Well! I am back with another update!
Voeckler loses today...see here how he smacks his handlebars when he realizes how much of a douche bag he is:
http://www.steephill.tv/players/youtube3/?title=Last+2+Km+of+Grand+Prix+de+Wallonie+2013&dashboard=&id=EmEtgNG-tOs&yr=2013
Tour De Romandie, April 30, 2014:
Voeckler attacks at about 1km to go. Almost holds off the peloton but is caught at the line. HOORAY! Totally cheering for asshat to lose!
Link to the catch!
Voeckler, aka Francis from Trainspotting, in the break 2 days in a row at Paris-Nice. Must be great to be on Europcar, with all the opportunities Voeckler gives a team mate!
What a fucking prick you are mate!
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