I’m beginning to have a problem with the twins, meaning the bangers. As of late, the boys begin screaming in miserable pain after I’m on the bike for no more than ten to fifteen minutes, and I’m not talking about a dull ache. This is not something BenGay could cure. Rather, it feels more like someone jabbing a needle into the base of my coin purse and injecting hot liquid along the length of my package.
Needless to say, it’s become something of a dilemma that has me relatively concerned.
The week after I bought the bike, I told myself, “Once you finally get your hands on a pair of proper bike shorts with all that wonderfully soft padding, the pain spreading through your balls will go away.” While in Modell’s Thursday afternoon, I had the good fortune to find a pair of padded shorts for the bargain price of $21.99. Hoping for the best, I pulled ‘em over my butt a few hours later, hopped on the bike, and headed for Central Park at ten in the evening.
First, while the padding made my butt slightly happier, the extra padding did ZERO for my problem with the boys, which is extremely upsetting. Again, I could deal with a dull ache or even an ache, but this is a sharp, nasty pain. It almost feels as if I’m bleeding down there, and I have to imagine it’s my body’s way of telling me, “You’re doing something very wrong, you idiot.”
Second, it was not just dark, but almost deserted in the park and as this was my first time out there after sunset (ever), I restricted my ride to a single lap. Even if it hadn’t been dark I might have pulled off after only one lap considering the pain down low.
You know, not that I’m thinking of it. I’ve never once had this problem while mountain biking. Granted, I don’t think I’ve ever been in the saddle on any one mountain bike as long as I have been on the new Giant road bike, although really, it’s gotta be the seat. I’ve been worried that perhaps it’s my riding style and the way I position my ass on the seat, but again, it’s never been a problem off-road, so why is it a problem now on the road?
It’s probably the damn seat and if it is (I’m sure it is), my old man has two older Giant mountain bikes in his shed. Perhaps I’ll offer him $50 or so for the older bike so I can use it not only for parts, but also as a beater-bike I can use to take short trips around the city and lock to the nearest parking meter/streetlight/tree.
That sounds like fantastic plan, don’t you think?
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